Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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