My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
