If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
