Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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