I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
