i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
two words: eviction party
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
