I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
