After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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