IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
