Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
