I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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