How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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