Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
