worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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