He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
