Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

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(678): View more from Georgia

You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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(637): View more from

I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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(661): View more from California

random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!

(1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

Yep

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face

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(916): View more from California

It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.

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