I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
