Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
