She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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