im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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