i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
