You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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