just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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