I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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