Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
