My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
