well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i may or may not be watching the land before time
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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