your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
