It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
