This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize