I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
