I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
