Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
