I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
this hospital has no fireball
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
