Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
