Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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