So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I deserve this hangover.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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