let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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