There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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