Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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