I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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