Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.