I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible