I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to