When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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