If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
now i know why i became what i already was.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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