she woke up with a sticky ear
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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