mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
COCAINE IS GR8
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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