i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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