A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
