i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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