Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
