i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
