I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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