that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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