I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
