the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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