my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
