So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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