she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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