"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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