im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm getting married
To pizza
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
