Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
