I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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