Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
