big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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