I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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