Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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