I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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