i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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