I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
