if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
