the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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