I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
